Parshas Vayakhel (Exodus 35:1-38:20) begins with Moshe (Moses) gathering the entire nation of Israel to hear Hashem’s (God’s) instructions for contributing to the construction of the Mishkan (Tabernacle). Throughout his forty years of leadership, Moses addressed the nation many times without assembling everyone together. So why was it essential for every single person to hear these particular words directly? What was unique about this moment that required the entire nation’s presence?
The Ramban (Nachmanides, 1194-1270) offers a profound insight. This gathering took place the day after Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, when Moshe descended from Mount Sinai carrying the replacement tablets after shattering the first ones in response to the Golden Calf. Before this devastating sin, the Jewish people knew there was a Divine plan to build the Tabernacle. However, after their transgression, they assumed Hashem would no longer want to dwell among them. They believed their relationship with Him had been irreparably damaged and that they had lost the privilege of creating a sanctuary for His presence.
To dispel their fears, Moshe immediately assembled the entire nation so that each individual could hear firsthand that their assumptions were wrong. God still wanted them to build the Mishkan, and He desired contributions from all who were inspired to give. More than just the beginning of a construction project, this gathering was a powerful declaration that, while the Golden Calf had severely impacted their relationship with Hashem, their bond remained intact. His love for them was undiminished, and His desire to dwell among them had not changed.
This lesson carries immense value for parents. Many parents struggle with how to discipline their children. Some avoid discipline altogether, fearing that it will create distance in their relationship. They hesitate to correct unacceptable behavior, worried about pushing their child away. Others are quick to discipline but do so in a way that causes lasting harm, leaving wounds that drive a wedge between them and their child.
Contrast both of these approaches with the model found in the Torah. The Jewish people committed a grave sin. They were punished swiftly and harshly. However, after the punishment, they were not left to wonder whether their relationship with Hashem was still intact. They were not abandoned to isolation or despair, believing that their connection with Hashem had been severed. On the contrary, Moshe’s first act was to bring everyone together—to ensure that each person heard, directly from his mouth, that God's love for them remained complete, that His desire to dwell among them was unchanged.
A healthy parent-child relationship is not one devoid of discipline. Nor is it one where the child is always happy with their parent’s decisions. A strong parent-child bond is one where, after moments of tension or discipline, the parent takes responsibility for restoring the connection. A mother or father who nurtures the relationship will actively seek out their child after a difficult moment, reaffirming their love and demonstrating that their relationship remains unshaken.
Children do not benefit from a lack of discipline, nor do they thrive when discipline damages the relationship. Just as the Jewish people needed reassurance after the Golden Calf, children need to know that no matter the circumstances, discipline does not threaten the bond they share with their parents. The parent-child relationship, like our relationship with Hashem, is strong enough to withstand anything. Just as God reassured the Children of Israel of His unwavering love, it is a parent’s role to reconnect and reassure their child that, despite discipline, their love and commitment remain steadfast.
Every relationship faces moments of difficulty. The key is not to avoid conflict but to take responsibility for healing after moments of rupture. Parents need not fear discipline or their child’s anger, but they must lead the way in mending and reinforcing the relationship once emotions settle. In doing so, they mirror God's model of love, connection, and unwavering presence.
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